It’s been said many times and in many different ways that I would end up alone. Someone has even gone so far as to say I’d die lonely. Despite my solitude and yearn for independence they don’t know this; I wake up each morning with the last of my dreams waning from my mind with a refreshed search for love.  

I don’t blame others for believing I’m doomed to be alone. Love had never been in the cards for me this far. I’m looking for something particular; something society tells me is long gone. I’m glad I’ve never listened to what society says, otherwise I would have worn Gaucho pants in the 9th grade and would now be sewing my wild oats.  

I’m looking for that one person who will turn my world upside down. I know this could happen, I feel it deep in my bones even if it doesn’t mean it’ll happen to me. Authors and movies portray this rare type of love so beautifully I’m stuck in a trance of “what if” for days. Although these writings and images are always categorized as fictional I can’t help but wonder what inspired their creators of this type of passion?  

Sure my head may be stuck in the clouds but that’s only because my destiny is written in the stars, the closest to heaven I’ve ever been. I know the man I will marry is somewhere out these. I know that his eyes are dark like expensive chocolate I wish I could splurge on. I know that I was created small so that I could fit in his arms perfectly. I know that he’s shy and I’ll always believe he’s a mystery which will fascinate me evermore. He won’t mind that I’m not secretive even if I want to be, and he’ll find my blushing charming. I know that he’s smart and grounded because God knows I’m not! I know that he’ll like cars and when I tell him “even if I have babies, we’ll all ride in my ’67 Mustang” he’ll go along with it. In fact, he’ll go along will all of my dreams and make them the reality I never could.  

And we’ll love each other so much…  

But until that day comes I’ll allow others to think I’m lonely. If it never comes I’ll be content knowing that the love I want is the only kind I feel should be allowed. At least I’ll never go through a marriage half-heartedly always dreaming of something else-that’s what I truly fear most.

 Do you believe in love? What does it look like to you?